Nobody’s smarter than me. Nobody’s cheaper than me. Nobody’s more patriotic than me. And I’m combining all three of my stellar qualities together for my 4th of July Air Conditioning Sale-ute The Flag Tune-Up Special. For just $704 (Get it? That’s 07/04, only in money.) I’ll come to your home of the brave and give you a Independence Day Tune-Up that’ll knock yer socks off.
Now my rival in the HVAC business (pronounced aichveeaysee) don’t like to promote nuthin’ during national holidays. I picks up the ball he drops every year. It’s how I get through the perilous fight we got going on between us.
So do yer patriotic duty and say you can see by the dawn’s early light that it’s time to spend money with Ol’ Bandit. Everyone who buys my 4th of July Air Conditioning Sale-ute The Flag Tune-Up Special gets certain unalienable rights including the right to a deal when times is slow for me anyways.
Plus I’ll throw in a red, white and blue air filter for only $17.76. So don’t call Todd. He don’t want yer business as much as I do. Or else he’d be yelling about his own 4th of July Sale from sea to shining sea. Only he ain’t.