I am the smartest one running for office after all.
Gonna level with you. When I decided to run for office I figured it would be a great opportunity to meet chicks. Didn’t think I would actually win. That’s why I simultaneously ran for Governor, Congress, Senate and Mayor. Just covering my bases. But then I had to confront the reality of my incredible intelligence and popularity. Looks like everyone wants to vote for me. Can’t blame ‘em. Have you seen who I’m up against? Exactly. No wonder I’m leading in four counties.
Bet Todd wishes he’d come up with this great idea himself. Who’s laughing now, Todd!
I mean, go ahead and try to name just one person who’s running against me. Cain’t, right? I’s got the biggest name and the largest brain in the whole country, not just the state.
So don’t forget to write me in on the ballot for every election you’s voting in. I didn’t bother to officially run. That takes planning and sacrifice. And that’s not exactly my style. Ask not what your country can do for you. You go ahead and do a little extra work by writing in Bandit on the ballot. I promise a donut in every pot and some duct tape on every furnace. And you can take that to the bank.
Election day is in November sometime. Look it up. Don’t forget to vote Bandit. It’s yer civic duty!